The things men learn when they get married

I love this article! I came accross this article when I was Googling and decided right away to mail it to my hubby. I must say, to a certain extent, what the writer wrote is true. It took us quite a while to get used to being married. It is far from what we have gone through during our years of courtship. You'll have less outing with friends and more family outing - even if you don't have a family outing, there will always be house chores..I don't remember spending a weekend doing house chores when I was a single. I remember there were a few occasion where Helms had to cancel his plans to see his friends coz something came up at home like having dinner with the in-laws. I remember that at one point of time I felt like I was 'friendless' coz our outings revolves around us and the family only - not that I'm complaining but when you are so used to hanging out with your friends on the weekend and it suddenly stop, you'll feel like..."Where are my friends?"Then, we started to rationalize things and analyse the situation..Finally, we have come to realize that it's not that friends are avoiding you coz you are already married, it's just that they are helping you to get used to the marriage life. Thus, I decided to always keep in touch with friends by SMS-ing and give a friendly call every now and then. This is just the beginning of our adventure as husband and wife.

The things men learn when they get married

Jonathan David MorrisAugust 9, 2005

Men learn a lot of things when they get married. I know because I'm a man and I got married a year ago. The way I see it, marriage is a totally awesome institution. There's nothing better than two people who love each other pooling their time, energy, and resources together in an effort to make life better for both of them. But I guess with divorce rates being what they are in this country, some people just don't see it that way. If you ask me, the problem with marriage is a lot of people think their wedding is supposed to be the high point of their love. They don't realize marriage is an adventure full of learning experiences. I don't know who to blame for this, but my gut says it has something to do with Jennifer Lopez. Either way, in an effort to make marriage easier for future generations, here's a list of five things every newlywed guy should expect to learn.

1) Marriage doesn't change anything. It's impossible to "feel married." The only thing that changes the day after your wedding is you don't have to plan a wedding anymore. That, and there's an off chance you'll break down crying during the climactic "Somebody's Getting Married" scene of The Muppets Take Manhattan. For this reason, I don't recommend living together before marriage. The way I see it, living together is the only thing marriage can physically change. Without it, your wedding is just an excuse to refurnish your apartment with gifts from the bridal shower.

2) There are other channels on cable besides ESPN. Most of these channels bear simple, non-intimidating names — like Lifetime and Style. If you're not careful, you may have to watch them. Style, for its part, is usually harmless. Most of its programming consists of Elizabeth Hasselbeck walking through a mall. But Lifetime's a bit more insidious. Other than the Golden Girls, the entire station seems to exist as an answer to the question: "Whatever happened to Meredith Baxter-Birney after Family Ties?" Real men know they don't want to know the answer — which is, she dropped the Birney and assumed the role of a woman scorned in no fewer than 6,000 made-for-TV movies. (I'm not even kidding about this. She actually played the lead in a movie called A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story. She even filmed its sequel: Her Final Fury: Betty Broderick, the Last Chapter.) Marriage is all about compromise and sacrifice. If you absolutely must watch Lifetime, at least watch baseball during commercials.

3) Sometimes staying in on a Friday to watch 20/20 won't sound so bad to you. Sometimes you won't even stay up late enough to watch 20/20. I used to laugh at the scene in Old School where the kids at the party ask Will Ferrell to drink from the funnel and he says no because he has a big day ahead of him tomorrow (going to Home Depot to pick out some flooring, maybe Bed Bath & Beyond if he has enough time). But I cringe now when he takes that drink because I know from experience BB&B is infinitely less fun when you're hung over and nowhere near the pillow aisle. The fact is, marriage shuffles your priorities. Strange things become important to you. Things like duvet covers. (If you have to ask, don't.) That's when you stop hearing from your single guy friends. For them, fun is going out and getting trashed on a Friday evening. For you, it's drinking a beer over dinner and passing out at 9:30 after doing the dishes and watching Dateline. I know this sounds depressing, but don't let it give you cold feet. There's something oddly satisfying about the skeletal nature of Stone Phillips' head.

4) Marriage doesn't mean the end of dating. If anything, your life on the dating scene is just getting started. Only now, instead of singles matches, you're working the tag team circuit. That's right: Once you get married, you have to find other married couples to go out with. And while it may sound like an exaggeration, I can assure you that this process absolutely resembles ordinary dating in every conceivable way. My wife and I met a nice couple at the neighborhood pool a week after moving in. We agreed to get together for happy hour the following Wednesday, and three Wednesdays later it finally happened. They seemed like very nice people. Both of them were scientists. We enjoyed light conversation and drinks at a local brewery. Afterwards, I told my wife I really liked them. But then something happened. We invited them over and they said they had to pass. Then they stopped returning our phone calls. And now we haven't seen them in months. I think about them sometimes. Were we too pushy? Was it something we said? My wife swears: "We're too good for them." But if we're too good for them, why won't they go out with us?

5) You will no longer have to subsist strictly on pizza. In fact, you won't be allowed to. Women like pizza, but they don't like pizza every night. They want variety. And pepperoni one night, meat lover's the next won't cut it. Basically, you won't have a choice but to familiarize yourself with the kitchen. Occasionally, Hamburger Helper will ride to the rescue. But after that, all bets are off. Soon you'll learn about these neat contraptions called ovens. Did you know there's a box in your house that can cook things up to 500 degrees... safely? Me neither. But then I got married. And then I learned. And if you get married, you'll learn, too. Soon ordering pizza will make you feel like Roberto Duran when he said "No mas" and quit on his stool. You'll start bookmarking recipe websites — researching salads and world-beating marinades with the same veracity of unmarried men looking up porn. Dinner will become the focal point of every day in your life as a newlywed. You'll enjoy dinner like you've never enjoyed dinner before. This lasts until you have your first kid, at which point — from what I understand — you never enjoy a single meal for the rest of your life.



So there you have it. Marriage in a nutshell. It's pretty cool, actually. You just have to learn to get used to it.

Welcome 2nd Trimester!

Gone the hardest part - 1st Trimester, Welcome 2nd Trimester! It was one hell of an experience for me during the first trimester, there were a lot of nausea, vomitting, headaches and crying as well..hehe. But now, I am as hyper as before, as energetic as before and eat a lot more than ever before..Friends kept asking me do I have any craving..and am proud to say up until now, no weird craving or specific craving..it's more like what I feel like eating at that particular time and it would only be like ..feel like eating nasi daun pisang, feel like eating chinese fried rice, or feel like eating nasi lemak.owkay,owkay I notice I eat a lot of rice nowadays. Not that before this I don't like to eat rice but ever since I got preggy, rice has always been my main choice! be it day or in the middle of the night. Even Chilli's is not in my list anymore. haha. Lucky Helms huh!



Now that I am in my second trimester, I am going to enjoy every bit of my time eating coz from what I heard from the 'seniors', hehe, during your third trimester you will be having all sorts of pains i.e back pain and you will not enjoy jalan-jalan coz you will feel penat all the time and you will be sleepy due to lack of sleep- yeah, I know sleep will not be in my dictionary anymore once baby is born..when your friends at work tell you ngantok nye I hari ni..you will go like "What's Mengantok?" Haiyoo...Welcome Motherhood..In the meantime, before all that happens, I am going to grab as many ZzzzZ as possible - just to make myself satisfied thehee..Dini bad mommy..So friends, before you decide to embark on this tour please do get dozens of ZzzZZ ;p

The Teppanyaki Day!

My oh my..these imbalance hormones are really driving my hubby crazy..We were on our way back home when my baby started to give me a sign that he/she's hungry. So I said, "Im hungry.." Helms being very efficient in answering me said, "Ok, where do you wanna eat sayang we'll go but after Maghrib ok" I just nod. Then, as soon as we came back he turned on 'the-very-best-thing-in-his-life'..the PS3 game..played and played till Maghrib..My tummy was already making so much noise that I couldnt bear it anymore that I gave up waiting and rushed down to the kitchen to grab something. I said to Helms,"I turun bawah la..lapar..nak mkn maggi ..Hey what happen to Teppanyaki? It's ok, I dah tak nak (tho I was craving like hell at that time) He continued playing the game meanwhile I was downstairs masak Maggi sorang2..while talking to my baby.."takpe baby,papa awak sibok ngan game tak kisah pun mama nak mkn ape.." Finished eating, went upstairs and I sam him still playing the game..hormones were really hectic at that time that I couldnt bear it anymore and there you were...me crying alone at the end of the bed..saying so many ridiculous stuffs to my hubby.."takpela you, tak kisah pun pasal baby and me...I nak sgt mkn teppenyaki and you kept on playing game..nape tak semayang cepat dah tau I lapar gile..etc"(you can imagine the rest of the "you ni..you tu..") He got really shocked, terkejut giler I could cry like it was really a big fite and kept on asking "what's wrong ni.. I thot I told you OK and we're gonna go and now you start to cry..blah blah blah" So there goes my hormones..up and down..I didnt know that I could cry on such things but I did..like I said these hormones are driving my hubby crazy ..hehe coz he have to bear with all the crying, whining, yelling, moodiness that comes at me just in a split second..sigh..You know what happen in the end..We did go to Japanese restaurant for my Teppanyaki ;)

Good News!

Dear friends,

I have something to share ;)After been married for 2months+, I am now a mommy-to-be! I know, I know..baby came by surprise. hihi. Well, me and Helms have talked bout when to have a baby and we have decided that it would be 'whenever'. But we never expected that it would be that soon. hihi. So, when I had a very terrible dizziness for 2 days in a row (I couldn't even stand for a long time, I felt like I wanted to collapse) Helms decided to bring me to the clinic since my dizziness didn't go off even after 2 days of rest. To make the story even funnier, when I told my parents I'm not well and asked my mom to check my perut (maybe angin etc) my mom didn't wanna check. Instead my dad said "ke kakak dah berisi ni.." and I jumped to that statement. I just said "mane ada papa ni"..(sounded sooO confident) So when me and Helms were on the way down at the stairs, met my dad again..he was just laughing and pat Helms at the back and said "Alhamdullillah kakak dah ada tanda dah tu..". I was like ..in my heart..why is everyone soOO confident..I might be having some food poisoning or some other sickness that I don't know and my whole family on the othe hand is already thinking that I'm pregnant. I can't believe this! Well, I just ignored what they said and went straight to the car..When we went in the car, the temperature of the air cond was 22c, Helms asked me "eh, did u change the temperature?" "Yeah, it was hot in the afternoon tadi so I lower the temperature" Then, came another confident statement made by my hubby "Lain je u ni, I think you're pregnant la.." That was it. Now, he is also influenced by my family's genius idea! "you all ni so confident, I might be having food poisoning or something and u all are thinking I'm pregnant. Ok nanti kite check, ask the doctor". Well, I am aware that my P hasn't come yet for month of November but it was normal to me since I assume it could be due to stress at work (yeah,stress la sgt kan..hihi). While waiting for the doc, Helms sempat lagi jokingly told me "If you're pregnant, I'll pay for the clinic bill but if you sakit biase2 je, pay sendiri" I was like, "Yeah, yeah". So when we went to the clinic, the doctor checked my blood pressure etc, didn't find any sakit2 that she could relate it to my symptom- dizziness+giddiness in my stomach. Then only I told her, "doc,is it possible that I might be pregnant coz I haven't had my menses for last month". Had the urine test straightaway, and then there it was...double line at the stick! haha. So there goes my good news..everyone was happy especially Helms. He couldn't believe it at first when I told him, "serious?!" "Yela, takkan la I nak tipu you, doctor yg ckp". He called almost everyone that he knew to tell the news. Me, I was still shock at that time, still couldn't believe that I was gonna be a mommy soon. I was happy, excited, scared, nervous, didn't know what to expect. So many things were running in my head, it was a mix feeling. My dizziness was gone for a while..(only for that moment). While everyone was happy and excited bout the news (Helms called me during lunchtime ever since that just to ask me how's the baby, I kept telling him "Baby is doin fine" haha) a few days after that I was still thinking bout my pregnancy, is it true..so know what I did? I went to Guardian after work, bought a pregnancy test wanted to see it on my own. So I did the pregnancy test again, this time at home and there it was..AGAIN..double line at the stick!haha. I was relieved, I knew then that I am truly a pregger and have to start thinking bout baby already. It was funny tho, some people would check at home then go to the clinic to double confirm the result but for my situation, terbalik..was not satisfied with the clinic's result, check at home pulak after that!

Thank You

I would like to say a bunch of THANK U to dearest friends who came to help me, lovely friends who came to celebrate my wedding, farling friends who gave lots n lots of prezzies..I love it! I could name a few (as far as I could remember) , DVD Player frm Bobo n gang, Vacuum Cleaner frm Honeystar Zali Mami, Cupcake holder frm Naddy, Colourful Cushion cover frm Rinie Najmi, Pink Bed Sheet frm Semah, Choc Fountain frm Ratna Husni Anwar, Table lamp frm Faten n gang, Thomas Pink tie frm Aiman, ...and few pasang kain batik, a few crystal frames, a few Lovely Lace albums, a few Dinner plate set, a few vases and the list goes on..

Gosh, I had a wonderful time on the wedding day and me and my hubby thank everyone who came to the wedding, without YOU it will never be as wonderful as it was! It was truly My Big Day.

xoxo

Wedding Tale!

I have loads of stories to tell bout my wedding. After 2 weeks in a row of Dini&Helmy's reception, now I can really get some rest. Let me start with the malam berinai. The Henna girl came late due to some prob and she started putting the inai on my fingers at 11.30pm. I had to wait till 4am for it to dry off! I was so mengantok but couldnt sleep coz takut it will smudge the sofa so nak tak nak kene la berjaga till 4am..nasib baik the drawing turn out to be nice so I said to myself..takpela,at least the inai cantik..Then came the Akad Nikah day, I was thrilled, excited, nervous whatever feelings that you can name of. The groom's side came at 8.30 as planned, then I went down approximately around 8.45pm as I was told by some makciks down stairs asking me to come down. After all the opening speech by my husband's witty atuk, to my horror, the tok imam who was suppose to sah kan my nikah was not there! Can u actually believe that. I waited for the first 20 mins then my leg started to cramp, everyone started talking, butterfly-in-my stomach was gone, by then I knew that my akad nikah was spoilt. My moodiness kicked in. Thank God I have friends and family who told me to chill and relax. Then around 10.15 came the real moment. So many things were playing in my mind. Is this true. Is this really happening. Am I..finally...going to be His wife..after all these years..I felt it was like a split second, He said it once and it was all done. (Min bet with me that he's gonna say it twice!) Well, I think the part of waiting for 1+hours for the tok imam to come made him said the sentence smoothly without me hearing his voice trembling and what not. I was proud of him. Had always been. I thank my friends who came to my Akad Nikah and even waited for me. Saved me from emotional blunder. I am proud to say that I am OFFICIALLY Helms' Wifey and this blog is the journey of my Lurve Tale..